Some Thoughts Concerning the Attire
of a Typical Resort Owner
By: Jerry Angst
© 1999, 2008
If I had a quarter for every time someone has tried to "shape me up" in the
clothes department, I'd be a rich man. Except for Lori
(and the jury is still out on her) every woman that I've had
any kind of a relationship with, has tried it and failed
(sometimes with some pretty hard feelings).
It nearly drove Dear Paula nuts since clothes were very important to her.
In addition to the women in my life, my kids have tried it, my friend Bob
has tried it, and my friend Randy has tried it.......to name but a few more.
I wear blue jeans and sweatshirts in the winter, and I wear blue
jeans and t-shirts in the summer. When I left IBM many years
ago I threw out a couple dozen ties (of varying widths and
colors) and I kept two......a medium width blue one and a
medium width brown one. (I have since lost the brown one.)
In addition to the ties, I kept two pairs of somewhat dressy
pants, three shirts with collars, and a pair of black shoes
that were still usable in a pinch. I also kept an informal
looking blue sport coat that was very uncomfortable if I
buttoned it up. I used to own a tux that I wore for some
Knights of Columbus affairs back in the old days, but I gave
that to my young grandson several years ago so that he could
play "dress-up" with his sister and not have to wear "girl
clothes". I also gave him my cowboy boots. Now every year
or so I call the catalogue department at Penney's and order a
dozen pairs of blue jeans, and when they arrive, I throw
away my oldest dozen pairs. My sweatshirts, caps, and
t-shirts (like my blue jeans) all begin life as "dress"
clothes, but as they age they eventually become "work"
clothes. The only exception to this that I can think of, are
two jogging suits that are used as pajamas if I spend
the night at some one else's house, and as " lounging around
the resort" clothes on summer evenings.
Whenever I first meet a woman who could possibly have a
romantic interest in me, she is usually impressed by my lack
of concern about what people think of my clothes. She thinks
it's neat that I can go to dinner at a nice restaurant
while wearing, for example, a sweatshirt with a four inch
hole in the stomach, and not care what other people think. It's
actually a positive thing to her initially. But a few weeks
later when she sees me put it on for the third time, I start
to hear things like "Oh, come on! You're not gonna wear that
sweatshirt with the hole in it again, are you"? Apparently
the novelty of a sweatshirt with a 4 inch hole in the stomach
wears off rather quickly.
That shirt with the hole in it, by the way, nearly drove my
friend Norma nuts. She almost wouldn't be seen with me if I
wore it. And it was a neat sweatshirt at the time; it was
still almost new and it really looked nice. It's just that
the first time I wore it I got some battery acid on it, which
burned a perfectly round 3 or 4 inch hole in the
stomach.......but I still considered it to be a dress shirt
because it was way too good to be a work shirt, in spite of
[Aside -- My daughter Tammy and family have a very small dog
named Copper (or Coppie) who weighs in at only a few pounds.
In the winter, if you sit on a recliner or lay on the couch,
Coppie likes to climb under your shirt to keep warm. She also
becomes very excited if the door bell rings. One winter day
when I was sitting in my recliner reading a book, Coppie was
sleeping on my stomach under the sweatshirt with the hole in
it. Someone rang the door bell and as usual Coppie started
barking frantically and fighting to get out.......but her head and one
leg went through the hole and she got stuck. When
she's excited she's nothing but a bundle of motion, and she
was stuck in that hole and fighting so hard to get out,
that it took three people and five minutes to extricate her.
It wasn't pleasant! -- End of Aside]
And end of story.