Some Thoughts Concerning the Attire
of a Typical Resort Owner

By: Jerry Angst
1999, 2008

If I had a quarter for every time someone has tried to "shape me up" in the clothes department, I'd be a rich man. Except for Lori (and the jury is still out on her) every woman that I've had any kind of a relationship with, has tried it and failed (sometimes with some pretty hard feelings). It nearly drove Dear Paula nuts since clothes were very important to her. In addition to the women in my life, my kids have tried it, my friend Bob has tried it, and my friend Randy has tried name but a few more.

I wear blue jeans and sweatshirts in the winter, and I wear blue jeans and t-shirts in the summer. When I left IBM many years ago I threw out a couple dozen ties (of varying widths and colors) and I kept two......a medium width blue one and a medium width brown one. (I have since lost the brown one.) In addition to the ties, I kept two pairs of somewhat dressy pants, three shirts with collars, and a pair of black shoes that were still usable in a pinch. I also kept an informal looking blue sport coat that was very uncomfortable if I buttoned it up. I used to own a tux that I wore for some Knights of Columbus affairs back in the old days, but I gave that to my young grandson several years ago so that he could play "dress-up" with his sister and not have to wear "girl clothes". I also gave him my cowboy boots. Now every year or so I call the catalogue department at Penney's and order a dozen pairs of blue jeans, and when they arrive, I throw away my oldest dozen pairs. My sweatshirts, caps, and t-shirts (like my blue jeans) all begin life as "dress" clothes, but as they age they eventually become "work" clothes. The only exception to this that I can think of, are two jogging suits that are used as pajamas if I spend the night at some one else's house, and as " lounging around the resort" clothes on summer evenings.

Whenever I first meet a woman who could possibly have a romantic interest in me, she is usually impressed by my lack of concern about what people think of my clothes. She thinks it's neat that I can go to dinner at a nice restaurant while wearing, for example, a sweatshirt with a four inch hole in the stomach, and not care what other people think. It's actually a positive thing to her initially. But a few weeks later when she sees me put it on for the third time, I start to hear things like "Oh, come on! You're not gonna wear that sweatshirt with the hole in it again, are you"? Apparently the novelty of a sweatshirt with a 4 inch hole in the stomach wears off rather quickly.

That shirt with the hole in it, by the way, nearly drove my friend Norma nuts. She almost wouldn't be seen with me if I wore it. And it was a neat sweatshirt at the time; it was still almost new and it really looked nice. It's just that the first time I wore it I got some battery acid on it, which burned a perfectly round 3 or 4 inch hole in the stomach.......but I still considered it to be a dress shirt because it was way too good to be a work shirt, in spite of the hole.

[Aside -- My daughter Tammy and family have a very small dog named Copper (or Coppie) who weighs in at only a few pounds. In the winter, if you sit on a recliner or lay on the couch, Coppie likes to climb under your shirt to keep warm. She also becomes very excited if the door bell rings. One winter day when I was sitting in my recliner reading a book, Coppie was sleeping on my stomach under the sweatshirt with the hole in it. Someone rang the door bell and as usual Coppie started barking frantically and fighting to get out.......but her head and one leg went through the hole and she got stuck. When she's excited she's nothing but a bundle of motion, and she was stuck in that hole and fighting so hard to get out, that it took three people and five minutes to extricate her. It wasn't pleasant! -- End of Aside]

And end of story.